When Thomas Jefferson’s daughter, Martha, expressed severe embarrassment and a sense of horror after her cousin, Nancy Randolph, became involved in a tragic sex scandal, Jefferson wrote one of his most beautiful letters in response. Never distance yourself from a dear friend in her hour of greatest need, he said, no matter how terrible the offense and profound your sense of embarrassment. That’s precisely the moment when our friends need us most. We lose nothing of our own standing in the community in being seen visibly offering support. "I shall be made very happy," he wrote, "if you are the instrument not only of supporting the spirits of your afflicted friend under the weight bearing on them, but of preserving her in the peace and love of her friends."